As the discourse on discovering spirituality progressed I was spell bound at the edge of my seat as I sat and listened with keen interest. “A box with five openings, that’s me”, so the opening to the public presentation began.
Yes, my five senses are the tools I use to master the physical word. What world did Helen Keller live in? Could I ever experience her world? It scared me to contemplate such a condition. Yet the more I thought about it the more it began to touch something within me that was bigger and more expansive than knowledge or experience.
I began to comprehend an entirely new way of understanding my own life and all that fills it. Like when a small child first comprehends how counting from 1 to 10 connects to counting from 10 to 20; the light goes off and you just get it!
I was totally engaged as I listened to this fresh topic of conversation. The information pushed me and pulled me in different directions. I was thrown about in a raging river of conflicting thoughts and feelings. I was confused and yet simultaneously fulfilled with an inner satisfaction that I admit I find hard to explain.
Trust me it’s an incredible experience yet really hard to explain with words alone. I promise to do my best to explain it, and I assure you if you get to this place these words will ring true for you too. Again, I will try to explain using the very limiting communication tool of written words.
Imagine trying to explain, through an interpreter, what a small bird is to Helen Keller, she was deaf and blind. You could talk for hours explaining in great detail about all the bird’s unique characteristics. The birds color, the texture of their wings, their beak, how they fly and sour through the sky, how they maneuver through tight tree limbs, how they sing with beautiful harmonic resonance that is pleasing to the ear.
You could spend hundreds of hours with endless explanations and yet never truly convey your attainment of seeing and hearing that small bird. As I listened to these new spiritual concepts being presented I thought, what would I understand if I lost my hearing and my sight?
I tried to imagine what Helen Keller’s perception of life was like? Helen Keller had never even experienced sight or hearing at all, what did she base her perceptions on I wondered? I began to explore all these new sensations swirling within me. My insides were being torn apart as I tried to comprehend this unexplored space within myself. I felt disconnected from my own being and yet even more deeply connected at the same time.
I thought deeper and deeper about it; who am I? I am aware that I exist but how? I see, I hear, I taste, I feel and I smell. This was the surface topic of discussion but it took me deep within myself. I listened intently while simultaneously exploring the tumultuous sensations in my core Being.
As I listened further to the discourse I was so enthralled from within. Like I completely understood the subject matter yet at the same time the words and concepts were all foreign to me. It was like I was eating foods I was familiar with yet the preparation styles and seasonings were not familiar to me at all. They were completely foreign to my pallet and yet my desire was such that I craved to eat more and more. I was almost hypnotized like I had a piece of warm chocolate fudge melting in my mouth. I was lost in the incredible satisfaction of this experience.
Words are so hard to share on this topic, and no I was not on drugs or drinking alcohol. The truth is I was learning and everything was fresh and new, yet somehow I knew the topic of conversation. The discussions were ultimately helping me to discover myself at a deeper level, looking from the outside in at myself as a person.
I began to explore within myself how all these interactions via my senses explained my world. I have interactions with nature and with other people and they are totally unique to me. What could I learn by further exploring these deeper inner sensations to comprehend and understand who I am in relationship to the world around me?
I realized that I really had no control at all over anyone or anything around me. It was like I was a sci-fy probe put here to measure and experience life, not to control it. I began to sense the need to discern how it is I am connected with the world around me. This began my journey into spirituality. I began to discover a new higher level of awareness in experiencing life and in grasping reality.
If my words have touched you at all; if you yearn for something more but can’t quite put your finger on it, I invite you in to explore with me and other like-minded people. Discover a deeper perception of life and reality. Discern a bigger community and a bigger connection to humanity and the world of nature to which we are connected. Discover with us a deeper more satisfying life, experiencing life in a fuller more complete way.
You are always welcome here to share in the Spiritual Quest.